Lonely

*Where have you all gone? Is J.J. in America, blood soaked in battle, fighting a war that no one can win? Is Lena standing on a cliff top screaming at Gods who cannot hear her, or perhaps do not even exist? Has Sasha returned to her Canada and found the Utopia she has always searched for? Maybe Lucas is lying dead on the floor of a Sicilian tavern, his last thoughts being "forever young, forever free". Or is my Will running barefoot down a lonely highway, towards the menacing storm in the distance, chasing a dream that once his fathers, with tears streaked across his face and anger flashing in his eyes because that dream is impossible to reach?*



My dream.

More like a nightmare though. It seems that the time has come for the crew to start disbanding, and I don't know what to make of it all. I don't know if I could face another day sane without any of them.

As if the whirlwind in this shite-fest of my existence isn't already overbearing enough with Will MIA, the prospect of my very best friends leaving soon really seems like its starting to drain what little is left of my life force. Well to be fair, Lena isn't actually going anywhere - she's just so fucked up all the time as a result of her pharm parties that she can't really be counted on anyway. And Lucas has said that he's sticking around, but that's only for now. Who knows when he's dad is going to decided to send him to Luxembourg or to New York without any given notice.

I suppose I'm sounding like a brat with dependency issues right about now. *Shrug* Too many things have changed in such a short time. I hate change. It just feels like everything is falling apart at the seams... My world has fallen apart.



And it's getting pretty lonely - not even Tosh is sitting at the piano anymore...



Sigh... It's been months now and I just want to know where he is, and if he's safe. Is that too much to ask?
OK, so let J.J. and Sasha go back home, so what if Lena's hardly ever lucid enough to have a decent conversation with or if Lucas packs his bags up and leaves tonight - just please, Will, send me some sort of sign that the world still holds you in it...

***

R.I.P. Leon Perez

If I had the guts to dance again, the first one I do would be just for you.